I devot a lot of my time to my travel team and so does my coach. But sometimes I feel like I just want to leave my travel team but I don't because I am loyal to my coach and I don't want to just abandon my team but sometimes the enters my mind of leaving my team but what stops me is that my coach built my team around me. But sometimes they won't give any effort in a game and make me work harder to make us look half decent and embarrass my travel team by not giving an effort what so ever. For example this weekend we played in a tournament in San Diego and my coach drove some of my team mates down to San Diego with a ruptured achilles because he cares for us so much. So the first game at 9:00 am we play is pretty good then the second game we played at 2:00 was horrible and the only one that gave full effort and came to play my coach said was me the rest of my team was to scared to do anything and if they missed a shot or messed up they would walk back to defense and since they walked backed the other team would score or my team mates would play lazy defense in the game I had rolled my ankle which meant I had to be subbed out of the game so when I was subbed out my teams defense was horrible and did I mention we got creamed. After the game my coach talked to us and said all he wants from us is effort and to play at least a good game to show compassion for our parents who had to drive us down to San Diego. After he talked to us we had 40 minutes to rest before the next game my team went inside and I stayed outside but when I went in I was so angry to see that my team mates were laughing and playing around as if we just played a great game and I told my coach I can't believe it doesn't even bother them the way we just played. I sat out the next game and when I was watching my team play they were playing like chickens with there heads cut off it was bad. I just can't believe they way this weekend ended up....

Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough to compete with the girls my age because I started basketball later. When these thoughts enter my mind I can't help but want to quit basketball because I feel like I will never make it if I can't compete with the girls now imagine when I am in high school and college trying out for the schools basketball team. The main thought that surrounds all of this is feeling like I will never be able to compete with the girls my age and being scared of not being the best at what I do. But there is also motivational thoughts that enter my mind when I think I am not good enough I ask myself what have I been doing to try to get better. It also helps me work harder because I keep telling myself I can be better and that I need to improve and that I need to push myself through the pain I get during practice because to get better you have to push yourself through the pain and fatigue thats how Kobe and all the greats got to where they all are now by pushing themselves.