I want to play at Notre Dame or Chaminade(who just won an open division championship). But when I see some girls play I think am I good enough to play at that level I have a lack of confidence in basketball sometimes I will tell myself that I am not good enough to play at that school. I also feel sometimes like will I be able to compete with girls that have been playing for 10 years and I only have only have playing for 2 years almost 3 years. But I also have to remember for only have been playing 2 years I have improved a lot to be one of the best basketball players in my age group in like 2 years I can become a lot better to be even better than the girls and pass then if I put in all of the work and give effort and just stay focused and tell myself that I am as good as those girls and I just have to work for it. I need to have confidence on the court and I just need to tell myself you're a great player and you go out there and just give 100% and leave it all out on the court.

Playing basketball when you're a girl is tough because you will have boys constantly telling you you suck or telling you your trash. So you have to build up a reputation with boys so whenever I play I have to play hard and can't go easy because if not they will tell me you suck at basketball. Which is not the easiest thing to hear from boys all the time because I have worked hard to get were I am at to be as good as I am. I am work hard in practice and everything I do in practice I try to give it my 100% effort. The reason it also sucks when boys tell me I suck is because I know I don't and it hurts because they don't know how much blood,sweat,and effort I have put in to be this good and to advance as fast as I have. It's like when you work really hard on something and have given it you're all and are adding little things to make it better and someone just tells you that your project is bad. It is really tuff because you want everyone to stop because it hurts but there will always be haters and you just have to shut them out.

To make it to college basketball or even for me to get a scholarship to Notre Dame or Chaminade. I will have to sacrifice stuff to get their and to be great. Certain things I will have to sacrifice is going to see family and being okay with eating what they give( I am Mexican so what my family gives me is usually unhealthy) because it won't help me get to my goal. Of being great and playing for Chaminade or Notre Dame and getting to go to Division 1 college. I will have to give up hanging out with friends. I will have to focus a lot on basketball because I can't go to the mall and miss practice. Because  while all my competition is in the gym and getting better I will be in the mall getting worse because saying the same is getting worse because everyone else is getting better. 

Sometimes it feel like you are putting your body threw hell running from practice to practice and then to games. Some nights I will come home with horrible back pain that is just painful and uncomfortable. I also get horrible knee pain thay I ant even walk when I have that pain but I still have to because how else how am I going to go to my room or how am I going to walk around campus. But having the aches and pains everywhere pays off when you are in a game and not being out of breath because it just to much running. Or when I catch the ball and do an amazing move that I have been practicing on for months just to perfect it. But sometimes that pain makes me want to stop basketball for a while because the pain gets a little to much to deal with. But I don't quit because there is no better feeling then when you are playing on that court and you can't see or hear anything thats off the court you can only see the ball and hear who ever is on the court.

Since when has basketball become so political it used to be just about playing the game. Now there are so many politics involved I mean there used to be very little politics involved but now there are so many. Like recently I just got screwed over by a park and coach that I thought had my back. They put me on the All-Star B team which made me so mad because the A team coach or now the assistant coach they just wanted him to chose all his travel team girls for his team while he was still head then switch another coach to head so he can coach the girls because they need his very strategic style of coaching for the team. The coach that is now head was suppose to put me on the A team because I not  only deserved it but worked for it and it not just me that said I got screwed over it was a lot of parents that said I should be on the A team and that I was screwed over. And the thing that made me the so anger is that the now assistant coach had borrowed me for me for a tournament and played me more than half the girls on his team that are on that A all star team which he knows that I am better than half of them. He still didn't put me on the team and the thing is he acted like he was a friend them just said just kidding and hit me unexpectedly in my stomach. 😡😡😡😡

When you hear of all these great college players that have only lost 5 games in there four year college basketball careers it makes me feel like how will I ever get to be that great when I can't over come a little mental block. My mental block is feeling like I am not good enough to play against other girls my age because I have only been playing 2 years and they have been playing since they where 5 or 6.  

But them I think but for only playing basketball for 2 years I have won 2 all-star championships technically 3 because last year we went to city and won. I also won the District championship Thai year with my school team. I also went from the worst player out there to one of the best. Thinking of what I have done in only 2 years helped me over come my metal block. When I see those girls playing college basketball I think I can do anything they have done because I have heart and hustle and I put my mind to it I can be better than them and greater. 

Sometimes it's hard to be really committed to a sport. What I am trying to say is that when friends invite you to a party or to do something but you have to say no because you have a game or practice it gets harder to want to one so committed to basketball because you're still a kid and want to have fun with friends. But I hear it from a lot of college players that it was worth it to not go to all those parties with friends and it was worth it to spend time in the gym  because now instead of her wanting to be like her friends and going to parties they want to be her because she has a lot of things going for her and it was because she didn't go to those parties or to hang out with them that she got to where she is now because she was on the gym getting better.